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Noby Noby Player Numbers Dropping, GIRL May Never Reach Mars

October 12, 2025 | By **A. Sinclair**

There’s a brilliant meta-game feature in Noby Noby Boy, which compiles every player’s “progress” in the game and uses it to rummy master propel a single “GIRL” across the solar system. But her progress is danger.

See, it relies on lots of players playing lots of Noby Noby Boy for those cumulative figures to get her anywhere. And while first-week sales saw the player base reach around 60,000, which got her from Earth to the moon in only rummy modern four days, there’s now only around 1000-2000 people playing the game.

Which means that, at the current rate, it’ll take her over 2000 days just to reach Mars. We could extrapolate that and work out how long it’d take her to reach, say, Uranus, but that would be both childish and depressing.

If creator Keita Takahashi built this feature into the game to guilt us into rummy nabob playing it more, well…congratulations, Keita, you sick bastard, it’s working.

Days Until Mars [Noby Noby Stats, via VG247]

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